Romano and the Former Nations Club
by Dark-Lady-Devinity
Summary: South Italy feels like he's not neccessary on the world stage with his younger brother around so he goes and gets involved with the Former Nations Club. He gets involved with the various nations that have left the world stage, especially Prussia. Slash.
1. Chapter 1

**Romano and the Former Nations Club**

_Dark Lady Devinity_

**A/N:** This is a quick little chapter just to set things up for the next chapters.

**Warnings:** Slash; Prussia x South Italy

**Chapter One**

Crouched in a corner, plotting, were England's brothers and sister. Prussia smirked and moved forward to join them but a hand slapping onto his chest stopped him. Newfoundland was standing beside him, cod jigger in hand.

"Don't." she said and gave the cod jigger a shake.

"Ha! I'm too awesome to waste my time on Arthur!" Prussia said. However, he gave a longing look towards the plotting group. Northern Ireland, Wales and Scotland always came up with the best plans for pranking England. He really wanted to be part of the joke; he'd never forget the day Northern Ireland dyed England's massive eyebrows pink. Yet Prussia wasn't going to go against the province of Newfoundland and Labrador while she was holding the frightening fish hook level with his five meters. The woman had France's balls next to her foot, geographically speaking. She had learned to attack the crotch (literally) in her attempts to keep France from groping her.

Newfoundland nodded and smiled brightly, satisfied that she had made her point (because getting most countries to lay off England was hard work, and nearly impossible). Then she caught sight of something. She pointed to an angry brunette and said, "What's South Italy doing here?"

**XxX**

Every so often, Newfoundland, Prussia, Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales would get together with various other former nations just to hang out and have a good time while others made decisions that affected them in world meetings. The all had that in common; they weren't major players on the world stage anymore. Newfoundland and Labrador, although never truly independent from England, lost her nation status when she joined Canada... and still had ties to England because of it. Prussia simply didn't exist anymore as he was dissolved and had no land. Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales were still nations but they were members of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland which was represented on the world stage by the personification of England. England was even called UK now. It didn't leave the three siblings with a lot to do. The others were in the same boat; they had lost their status, joined another country in confederation or had no land. The only real exception was Sealand. Everyone believed he was some freak of nature that never was and never would be a nation. The Former Nations Club felt bad for him and let him join them. Sealand thought he was invited because the other nations wanted to relearn how to become nations again, the silly child.

The Former Nations Club wasn't really a structured society. The only time there was an annual meeting of all the club members was when they got together in memory of Germania, Rome, Babylonia and so forth. Most meetings of the club were informal and there wasn't always a chance for everyone to attend. They usually kept up to date through an intricate system of emails and a livejournal community. The only reason there was a meeting today was due to an UN meeting. The club members had tagged along with the current world player nations for a free vacation. Today they were exploring Central Park in New York City. While there, they had discovered an amusement park.

It was there, with the members scattered around and trying the various rides, that Newfoundland and Prussia saw South Italy.

**XxX**

Newfoundland and Prussia were watching South Italy when a few other nations had noticed. Gran Colombia made her way over as did the plotting island siblings. Together, they watched as South Italy eyed the various nations as he angrily ordered some fluffy pink cotton candy. However, the southern nation seemed less angry than usual and rather awkward. He got very nervous when he noticed them staring.

"Go talk to him." Gran Columbia told Prussia as she pushed him towards South Italy. "Go see what he wants."

"Why me?" Prussia asked.

"Because you're awesome?" Gran Columbia asked, more than said. She didn't want to tell him the truth; she wasn't going to risk being head butted by Romano if she inadvertently pissed him off but she had no problems sacrificing Prussia.

Prussia suddenly smirked and puffed up, like he was a bird on display in a mating ritual, announcing that "Yeah, I am pretty awesome." Then he marched over to the Italian nation. He carelessly slung an arm over Romano's shoulder, causing the nation to jump, and asked, "What's up?"

South Italy made a face at having a "potato bastard" so close to his person and he glared fiercely at Prussia. Prussia didn't even notice. Finally, Italy grounded out "Let go."

Prussia laughed. "You don't really want my awesome to leave you, do you? Think about how cool you look by being with me! Anyway, I just wanted to know what you're doing here. Aren't you supposed to be in those stuffy meetings with those other boring guys?"

Romano shrugged off the albino. "Exactly. It was stuffy and boring. I thought I'd check out this former nations club instead."

"Eh?" Prussia asked. "How do you know about that? The club's top secret!"

"Remember how you got drunk last night and started a karaoke battle with Poland and Japan in the main meeting room? When Germany dragged you away, you dropped the memo about today's meeting." South Italy said.

At that, Prussia quickly glanced around. None of the other members were close enough to hear the conversation. "Listen, the others think it's really fun that the club's a secret. It's just more awesome that way. You can't let them know I blew it. They won't let me take Gilbird on trips anymore and they might use the special punishment they've created for the day France finally gets on their last nerve!"

"I... I'm not going to tell anyone." South Italy said, stuttering and suddenly acting like he was a very small and bashful child. "I was... thinking... that I could join?"

This revelation knocked Prussia for a loop. No one had ever wanted to actually join the Former Nations Club. And the reason was right in the name. Only a few nations, such as Northern Ireland, Wales and Scotland still had some status as nations; they joined because England was the sole representative of the United Kingdom these days. For a full-fledged nation such as South Italy, a being that actually stood for his people on the world stage, to want to join was unheard of. Prussia let Italy know this.

"But you're Italy!" Prussia cried. "You have land and people and a flag! You get to go to meetings, although that may not be an upside to being a country, and your leaders deal directly with you. What could you possibly have to gain by joining us? Most of us should have dissolved along with our borders and the rest are just bored."

Romano turned an impossible shade of red and refused to look up from his feet. "Who needs me when they have Feliciano?"

Prussia blinked. He hadn't been expecting that but he could understand the logic behind South Italy's words. Prussia had acted as East Germany during the era of the Berlin Wall but he wasn't needed when the wall was torn down and the two halves of Germany united. And yet that wasn't really the same thing as Gilbert was just holding onto something after Prussia dissolved. The albino shifted and looked over at the other club members. They weren't close enough to hear the conversation so Prussia had no idea what his next move should be.

Finally the albino nation came to a decision that was based on both sympathy and pity and said, "Yeah, you can hang out with us."

"Just... don't tell anyone why I want to join okay?" South Italy asked. "It's embarrassing."

Prussia nodded. Then he turned around to properly face the others and yelled cheerfully, "Hey everyone! Lovino Vargas is joining the Former Nations Club because he can't bear to be away from my awesomeness!"

South Italy made a horrible affronted noise from deep within his throat and head butted Prussia in his back.

It was the start to a beautiful relationship.

**XxX**

**Note:**

The islands of St. Pierre and Miquelon are part of France. If you go to them, you're in France. They are right off the coast of Newfoundland. Actually, they're not far from the Burin peninsula which is boot shaped. Hence France's testicles are right next to Newfoundland's foot.

**OCs**

Newfoundland and Labrador is called Sarah Abbott-Doyle. And Newfoundland was its own country for a time so she's in the club.

Northern Ireland (Ilane), Wales (Padrig) and Scotland (James) joined the club because even though they are separate entities Arthur stands for them as the United Kingdom. So they're bored.

Gran Colombia: a republic nation that existed from 1819-1831. Dissolved into the nations of Brazil, Colombia, Costa Rica, Ecuador, Guyana, Honduras, Nicaragua, Panama, Peru and Venezuela. Called Josefa Bolívar


	2. Chapter 2

**Romano and the Former Nations Club**

_Dark Lady Devinity_

**A/N:** This is a quick little chapter just to set things up for the next chapters.

**Warnings:** Slash; Prussia x South Italy

**Chapter Two**

Northern Ireland was an imposing woman when she wanted to be.

"We are having a bake sale. Shut up Prussia." The fiery haired nation said, stopping Prussia before he complained about how un-awesome a bake sale was. "We need to raise funds for the next club meeting and this is an easy way of going about it. And now that Lovino has joined us we can make use of that famed Italian cooking."

South Italy shifted uncomfortably as everyone turned to look at him. He had been quickly adopted into the group simply because no one knew what else to do with him. Everyone had their own theories as to why he wanted to join but they didn't voice these out loud for fear of alienating the nation. Still, South Italy knew that everyone was paying him extra attention and he wasn't use to it. Also, the club members all called each other by their human names and he found it strange to be called Lovino after years of "South Italy" or "Romano" or, worse yet, "Lovi."

"It's Feliciano that's famous for his cooking. Not me." Romano said.

"Don't a lot of Italian dishes call for tomatoes?" Gran Columbia asked. "I heard that you loved tomatoes. I remember that Antonio was really excited when he imported them to Europe and you didn't throw them at him."

At Italy's horrified look, Gran Columbia said, "Antonio talked a lot about you when he wasn't conquering my sisters and brothers. I believe that you're more like a son to him than a minion… he can't approve of your crush on Gilbert, can he?"

Gran Columbia was one of the former nations that believed Romano had joined because he had a crush on Prussia. She had taken Prussia's announcement that Romano had joined to be near Prussia's awesomeness with a grain of salt but at the same time she really thought that something could be developing between the two males. It only confirmed her suspensions when the tomato loving nation yelped in horror and turned that infamous shade of cherry tomato red.

"What does that have to do with the bake sale?" Northern Ireland asked.

"Hey, can I ask Mama to make something?" Sealand suddenly piped up.

"No." everyone said very firmly.

"Why not?" Sealand asked.

"We're a secret club, kid." Scotland explained. "How would you explain to your, er, parents, that you needed a tray of cookies or something without mentioning us?" He didn't add that most of the nations present thought that Finland's idea of candy was scary.

Suddenly, the door to the empty conference room the Former Nations Club was hanging out in was opened. Everyone blinked at England, who just stared back at them.

"Why are all of you hiding in a conference room when the meetings ended this afternoon? Everyone's been looking for you so we could check out of the hotel." England stated.

The Former Nations all looked at each other, trying to think of a good reason why they would be gathered in a room together without revealing the club. England narrowed his eyes- and, in effect, his massive eyebrows- when he realised that Northern Ireland was the only one standing, her serious face on, as if she was in charge of a battalion and revealing the day's plans for attack.

"Ilane," England said darkly, "you aren't planning on dying my eyebrows pink again are you? Don't you remember what happened last time?"

"I fear no fairy's curse, baby brother." Northern Ireland said boastfully. "And I was thinking that everyone here would be interested in seeing your hair dyed neon orange this time around."

The two siblings quickly started fighting and Wales and Scotland jumped right in. England didn't stand a chance. Meanwhile, the other nations snuck their way past the constantly arguing siblings and out into the corridor of the conference building.

Everyone stood around to watch the bickering for a few moments before South Italy suddenly found himself bombarded with email addresses while he was forced to rapidly scrawl his own out on random scraps of paper.

"I'll email you about the bake sale as soon as Ilane sends me the details." Gran Columbia said cheerfully. "I'm really glad to have you with us."

Romano nodded at the friendly republic before she hurried off to find her siblings. As Romano was caught up in a swell of goodbyes, Prussia watched. When nearly everyone had left, he threw his arm around Romano's shoulders and ignored the tensing of the muscles in the smaller nation's body.

"What do you think you're doing?" Romano asked.

"Acting like we're friends, of course." Prussia laughed. "Everyone in the club is buddies with each other. Anyway, I figure you and I will be teamed up on a lot of club missions seeing as our brothers hang out all the time. It won't look too strange if we start seeing more of each other."

"So?" Italy asked.

Prussia shrugged. "Well, I think we should get to know each other more. That way, we can back each other up when one of us needs to cover for the club or something. I'm too awesome to keep secrets so I kind of was hoping that you could help me not blow our cover to Ludwig."

South Italy scrunched up his nose at that. "I really don't want that potato bastard finding out that I joined a club for former nations when I'm still nationy."

"Greet. So you'll meet me for dinner next week!" Prussia said.

To most, if not all normal people, that would sound like a date. South Italy blushed for what seemed like the millionth time in the last few days but this time he managed to pull off a subtle pink hue. Prussia didn't even notice. He was already laughing and walking away, plotting aloud another doomed plan to embarrass Austria and the items he needed to add to his grocery list.

**XxX**

I think you can expect to see the Former Nations Club throughout the entire story. They will have a role to play in poor Romano's life.


	3. Chapter 3

**Romano and the Former Nations Club**

_Dark Lady Devinity_

**A/N: **I'm not sure when the next chapter will be but it might take a little while. I'm working on a pretty big project that is almost finished so I'm going to be spending more time on it. Then there's work. Sigh.

Also, I'd love some ideas for minor hyjinks for the Club. Some suggestions for members would be lovely.

**Warnings: **slash

**Chapter Three**

_At Germany's house_

When you looked this awesome, people took notice.

Prussia wasn't all that surprised when Germany stopped his obsessive cleaning rituals to stare at him. The albino ex-nation had walked into the living room wearing his best jacket and his hair had actually seen a comb. Even Gilbird, sat upon his owner's head, was looking spiffy. Prussia had gone for classy (but still awesome) for the restaurant he was meeting South Italy at. He had picked out a semi-fancy restaurant because he knew that South Italy would never agree to going out to a bar for wurst and beer and the place they were going to go to would suit Romano's tastes while still being within Prussia's budget.

"Wha... what are you wearing?" Germany asked in shock.

"Clothes. Duh." Prussia said.

"I mean, why are you dressed up properly for once? Even your hair is being tame." Germany said. "It's unusual."

"You do mean that I'm looking especially awesome right?" Prussia asked. "Cause I know I make this outfit look good."

Germany sighed at his brother's antics and waved him away. He decided he'd rather not know what Prussia had planned. Somehow, a nicely dressed Prussia seemed especially troublesome. Prussia just smirked in that carefree, haphazardly way that always gave Germany a headache and told his younger brother that he was going out and not to wait up. Then he walked out the front door.

The younger blond haired nation shook his head. Then he remembered that he still hadn't finished cleaning and that North Italy would be over soon for a 'movie date.' Germany still didn't know how he got roped into these things.

_At the Italies' place_

Romano was not in his happy place. He had a date with Prussia at a surprisingly nice place (especially considering that _Prussia_ was the one who picked it out), he didn't even know if he wanted to go on such a date, his brother was going on _another_ date with that potato bastard Germany and France had visited earlier and nearly got a good grope in on North Italy. Luckily, South Italy had seen the last mentioned annoyance and put a stop to it by head butting France in the kidneys.

South Italy was still fuming over France while he was getting dressed. Although he had mostly gotten over the incident (as much as Romano got over anything), it was easier to think about the pervert and all the ways that the southern nation would like to see him maimed. To be honest, South Italy was genuinely nervous about his date with Prussia. Butterflies were welling up inside his stomach and it made him want to squirm. All of this was too much for Romano and he really didn't like not knowing what to expect. He had gone on thousands of dates before and had never been bothered by them. Hell, both of the Italy brothers were suave, skilful ladies men and could out seduce Don Juan. But all the girls that Romano had been out with were mortals and, well, girls.

The elder sibling contemplated going to his younger brother for advice until he remembered that North Italy was dating that potato bastard. Obviously, Veneziano had no taste in men. The only other person that South Italy knew to ask was Spain and that happy-go-lucky nation was completely stunned when it came to romance despite being, well, Spanish.

"I'm doomed." Romano thought. Yet he continued to get ready for the date.

_At England's place_

"This is not a proper use of our time." Vermont whispered, her slightly snobbish voice not carrying far.

Northern Ireland sighed. "Charlotte, this is for the good of the club!"

"How is dying your brother's hair neon orange going to help the Former Nations Club, Ilane? I'm telling you, Arthur is going to blame the whole thing on Alfred and you're only going to make them both get sulky." Vermont said.

Northern Ireland sighed and looked to the others for help. Northern Ireland, Scotland, Wales and Vermont were all gathered under the roof of England's house for a conference between the United Kingdom and the USA. Northern Ireland had received a lot of emails from the club members telling her that they really would love to see England with orange hair. And then America came to visit with Vermont in tow, which meant that the Former Nations Club could have a session.

Vermont was only a republic for fourteen years. She had tried to argue that she really wasn't qualified to join the Club but they inducted her anyway and now she got roped into schemes like this. She sighed but didn't stop the others from sneaking into England's bedroom and beginning the dye job on the sleeping nation.

After all, she didn't have to be stereotypically high class and properly snobbish all the time.

**Note:**

The Vermont Republic existed from 1777 to 1791. Vermont had declared itself independent from British rule in 1777 but its request to join the US was declined. Vermont was allowed in in 1791. She was the fourteenth state. I figure that while she was in limbo, a little nation formed. Because Vermont was only a nation for 14 years, the character looks like a fourteen year old girl. Her name is Charlotte Jones.


	4. Chapter 4

**Romano and the Former Nations Club**

_Dark Lady Devinity_

**Chapter Four**

So far their whatever-this-was was going pretty smoothly. Prussia had met South Italy at the restaurant and he had cleaned up nicely. Then the albino had led the southern nation into the building and to their seats while making a few comments on how awesome he, Prussia, truly was. However, Prussia mostly told him small things about the club like how the other nations in the United Kingdom came up with the best pranks or how Romano shouldn't say anything to Sealand on his nation status.

"Trust me," Prussia had said, "you don't want to acknowledge Pete as a nation but you shouldn't hurt his feelings too much. The boy's insane."

In his ramblings, Prussia didn't seem to notice that Italy wasn't talking as much as usual. Well, Prussia was used to not letting others get a word in so South Italy was able to comfortably sit back and watch his companion, sizing him up while trying to hide his anxiety. He only really spoke to tell the waiter his order of a fine red wine and lasagna. Prussia paused when it was his turn, thought about it, and ordered the same. He wasn't an expert in Italian food but North Italy had really good taste in food and he believed that the South couldn't be that much different in taste.

"Anyway," South Italy finally said, asking the question that was taking up all his thoughts, "why did you want to go to dinner here, exactly?"

"I thought you'd like the place." Prussia said, shrugging. "I think a good bar is perfectly awesome but I figured that wasn't your thing. And going out for dinner is a good way to start a relationship. We talk, eat, drink, have a good and go back to my or your place for coffee. We make future plans. For example, I was thinking that we could get together again rather soon. Ilane will have my balls if I try to back out of the bake sale this year and I... I'm still awesome and all but... well, I think that I might need your help. Normally I wouldn't ask but, well, you seem kind of awesome yourself and I sort of like you."

South Italy blushed at that and silently swore that he would never blush ever again. What Prussia had said sounded like a love confession but they barely knew each other. It could easily be simple flattery to get Romano to help him. However, it did sound honest, whatever he meant by it.

"Listen here, potato bastard, I don't want you thinking that I'm just here to help you out." South Italy said.

Prussia scrunched up his nose. "Isn't 'Potato Bastard' your nickname for my brother? It's not awesome to make us share pet names."

"What?" Romano sputtered. "It is... it isn't a pet name! It's an insult. I don't have any pet names for anybody. I guess I could just call you Prus-"

"Gilbert. I'm Gilbert." Prussia interrupted. "You're part of the club now Lovino. That means we're close friends now. I'm Gilbert to you and you're Lovino to me."

Italy ducked his head and mumbled something that Prussia couldn't make out but it sounded like 'I wished you'd stop saying things that make me blush, bastard." Then the southern nation was saved from having Prussia question his mumble when the waiter arrived with their dinner.

"Hey, thanks dude." Prussia said cheerfully. The waiter huffed at how informal Prussia was and marched pompously away.

"Hey, what's his issue?" Prussia asked.

"This is a fancy restaurant, idiot. You can't call the waiters 'dude.'" Italy said exasperatedly. But he was trying to hide a smile as he said it and there was a hint of laughter in his voice.

Suddenly Prussia's cell phone rang. Prussia didn't bother to apologise for it or excuse himself as he quickly answered the phone.

"Yo... you didn't Ilane! I wanted to help... of course I want a picture... yeah, it's safe, I'm just with Lovi... we're at a fancy restaurant. I asked him out... k, bye." Prussia quickly hung up. "That was Northern Ireland, who you really should be calling Ilane. Apparently, she, the guys and Charlotte- that's Vermont- played the best prank ever on old Iggy. There, she's just sent me the pic."

Prussia glanced at the photo on his cell phone and laughed out loud in pure, maniacal glee. Patrons all over the restaurant turned to glare in the albino but he ignored them as he handed South Italy the phone. The smaller man took the device even though he was annoyed by the phone's interruption. But he found himself laughing out loud when he saw the angelically serene face of England asleep in his bed with neon orange hair and matching eyebrows.

The picture was so funny that South Italy didn't mind that they were being tossed out of the restaurant for disturbing the other customers. He actually kind of thought it was worth being kicked out when Prussia grabbed his hand and didn't let go even when they had ran far enough that they couldn't see the place anymore.

And Romano suddenly found himself wishing that Prussia would kiss him and make it a real date.


	5. Chapter 5

**Romano and the Former Nations Club**

_Dark Lady Devinity_

**A/n: **We actually saw the damaging effects of a hurricane here in Newfoundland! Usually hurricanes beat the crap out of America before they hit here so we only have high winds and a bit of rain. But Igor only hit Bermuda before coming our way and we got hit full force. The amount of water and damage in places was incredible. I've never seen so much water that wasn't in the ocean before. Anyway, the only problem at my house is that we lost the internet so my family was pretty lucky. But it means that this chapter had to be written at home and then posted with help of the university's wireless.

So thank MUN for this lovely chapter.

_Italics are flashbacks._

**Chapter Five**

Prussia was a sneaky bastard. Oh, South Italy didn't mean to imply that the albino was in any way intelligent because he wasn't. Yet Prussia had the amazing ability to get people and work them to his advantage and sometimes Romano forgot that he was the lord of the idiots. And Prussia's ability to make people do things for him was in action right now. The ex-nation had managed to get Romano into Germany's house in a surprisingly non-suspicious manner two days after he had dinner with South Italy. It had happened like this:

_North Italy was over once again and he had invaded the kitchen. Flour and dough lay on the kitchen counter as the nation made lunch. Germany was freaking out because North Italy was working directly on the counter and the German was trying to clean around him. Veneziano felt that it was perfectly okay to work on the counter without use of a chef's board because Germany kept the counter so clean that bacteria had never had a chance to get on it._

"_Hey, Veneziano," Prussia said when he walked into the kitchen. The ex-nation had slept in late after his dinner date with the Northern half's brother. The albino had a sudden idea during Veneziano's cheery greeting._

"_I was wondering, are all Italians good cooks?" Prussia asked. _

"_Ve?" North Italy asked in a cute and confused way. Then his face lit up. "I think so. I'm really proud of all the food my people make!"_

"_No, no, that isn't what I meant." Prussia said, using all his awesome acting skill to create an air of casualness around himself. "You grew up with Austria while Spain raised your brother. Surely you both have different food styles? So, are North Italians better cooks than South Italians?"_

_Germany shuddered. Dealing with one Italy was bad enough sometimes. He didn't want to imagine the meaner sibling in the kitchen. He had images of Romano and a knife in his head and Romano wasn't using the knife for food preparation._

"_Brother likes tomatoes more than I do." North Italy said carefully. "But that just means he puts more care into his spaghetti sauce than I do and you can taste all the love he puts into it! Brother is a great cook… I know! I'll bring him with me tomorrow to help with dinner! You'll really like him Prussia!"_

_Prussia grinned. "I think I'd like to see that. Everybody should make the awesome Prussia food."_

_A soft groan interrupted the two men's conversation. They both looked at Germany. The blond blinked at the sudden attention._

"_I was, ah, just thinking how _interesting_ it will be to have both Italies here." Germany said. Well, at least he wasn't lying. But Germany didn't think 'interesting' was a good thing._

It wasn't a bad plan, South Italy thought, as he carefully measured a cup of flour for the cake Veneziano had insisted they make. The Northern half had said nothing about Prussia when he jumped his southern equivalent and dragged him over to Germany's. Romano couldn't even decipher his northern counterpart's gleeful ranting so he really had no idea what was going on. It was only when South Italy found himself in Germany's kitchen with Prussia casually hinting that the brothers make cupcakes to go with dinner that South Italy figured out what was going on. Prussia had found a way to get them together to prepare for the Former Nations Club bake sale without making the others think anything strange was going on.

But Prussia's suggestion that North and South Italy make ten thousand cupcakes and twelve dozen cookies was ridiculous and South Italy was damned if the Italian brothers did all the work.

"Bastard, if you want more cupcakes than humanly possible to eat then you'd better be ready to help!" South Italy snapped at Prussia.

"Ha ha! I'll show you my awesome baking skills!" Prussia yelled.

As the albino washed his hands… or, really, as Germany forced him to, Veneziano turned to his brother and whispered, "Ve, Lovi, Prussia really can't cook. It's scary when he tries to boil water."

"How can boiling a pot of water be scary?" Romano asked.

"I… I didn't say anything about a pot being involved." Veneziano said nervously. He was shaking.

Romano paled. "Then how does he… well, he can't make too much of a mess if he just mixes the ingredients up in a bowl, right?"

"Don't bet your life on it." Germany said in an uncharacteristic tone. He took one last, longing look at his clean kitchen before joining the group. It wasn't wise to leave the three of them alone, especially not now, with the Italians fearing for their culinary lives.

**XxX**

"Did… did World War III just start?" a feminine voice asked as two shadowy figures peered into the kitchen. South Italy wiped the flour from his face and the figures sharpened into the forms of Austria and Hungary.

"This is all Prussia's fault." Germany said as he climbed out from under the kitchen table.

"We were baking." Veneziano replied. "But, somehow, my cake exploded and Prussia dropped the eggs. Then Germany slipped on the yolks and fell under the table. He knocked into it hard enough that the spare flour toppled off and we were attacked by a flour cloud. Um, I'm not sure how the whip cream got everywhere and the chocolate is missing."

"Trust me," Prussia groaned, "it's better off gone. It wasn't very good."

"It's _baking_ chocolate!" Romano screeched. "You're not supposed to eat it like a candy bar!"

There was a brief, tense silence as Austria and Hungary looked at each other. Finally, Hungary whipped out her frying pan and hit Prussia in the head with it for being an idiot while Austria rolled up his sleeves.

"Never, ever, let Prussia near food that isn't ready for consumption." Austria said.

**XxX**

Sometime later, the Italies and the Germanic nations were cleaned up and changed. Veneziano was perfectly happy to be sitting with Romano in the living room with only Germany's sweat shirt to cover him (although it did come down to his knees) but Romano wasn't happy to be wearing one of Prussia's spare hoodies. Especially as it had a big maple leaf on it and Romano was certain that Prussia had stolen it off of that nation that looked suspiciously like America but didn't sound as idiotic as America. Hungary was off doing their laundry so that the brothers would have some pants to put on before they headed home. She had already finished helping Germany clean the kitchen. Austria had taken it upon himself to salvage the baking fiasco as he didn't like to see expensive ingredients (or cheap ones for that matter) go to waste. Prussia had been kicked out of the house until everything was finished.

All in all, it was a very awkward time for Romano. He felt uncomfortable to be surrounded by the people that had raised his brother and he had to face the vast difference in the cultural environment of their childhoods. Romano's life with Spain couldn't be any farther apart than Veneziano's life with Austria without being raised in different parts of the world altogether. He actually found himself wishing that Spain was there.

Also, Hungary was being a scary stalker-like freak and taking random pictures of the pants-less brothers sitting together. Romano heard that she had a fetish for boy on boy action but he had hoped that it didn't include incest.

But worse of all was the fact that Prussia didn't seem to need the Former Nations Club. Prussia had his brother and he seemed close to both Austria and Hungary even if the latter two were so disdainful of him. Austria still set aside a desert just for Prussia and Hungary was muttering about all the idiotic things Prussia did while they were young nations together. There was a hint of fondness in her voice. And Prussia was obviously friends with that America doppelganger, Cana-what's-his-face, if he kept his clothes. And Romano knew that Spain and France still hung out with Prussia although the Italian really wished that Spain would stop talking to France before France raped him. Romano was being to realise that he sort of _liked _Prussia and he even thought of him as Gilbert. But with so many nations in his life and his alliance with the Former Nations Club, Prussia didn't need anyone else.

He didn't need Romano.

That depressed him a lot and he didn't feel at all excited to see the beautiful little cakes that Austria had made nor did he feel anything when the cakes were brought to the bake sale. While the Former Nations Club gushed over the cakes, South Italy sat in a corner, feeling dejected.

He didn't notice Newfoundland, Gran Columbia and a few other nations looking at him while he stared forlornly at Prussia. So he didn't see them forming a plan to help him get back his game.

He would have run away then.


	6. Chapter 6

**Romano and the Former Nations Club**

_Dark Lady Devinity_

**A/n: **Romano and Prussia aren't in this chapter. The Club is forming evil match-making plans instead.

Do you have any evil plots for the gang to try out?

**Chapter Six**

The Former Nations Club had called for an emergency meeting without telling Prussia and South Italy. It had taken some skill on many of the members' parts to get out of their houses without suspicion. England, upon learning that the orange dye was permanent, had been keeping an especially close eye on his siblings. Scotland had to call in Ireland's help just so Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales could go to the meeting. Ireland never knew why Scotland would spontaneously phone him up and get him to distract England but Ireland never minded. The Irish nation loved reminding England that he could be just as annoying as his northern sister.

Finally, when the last club member had arrived, Gran Columbia started the meeting. Everyone settled down as the South American collected her thoughts. She usually didn't run the meetings.

"I'm sure that all of you noticed how quiet it is here." Gran Columbia said. "That's because Gilbert isn't here. Neither is Lovino, for that matter. And that is because our meeting today is about the both of them."

"Isn't it rude to have a meeting about two people that aren't here to defend themselves?" Vermont asked.

"Normally, yes. However, the situation calls for it. Hasn't anyone noticed how depressed Lovino seems to be lately?" Gran Columbia asked.

Many former nations nodded. The Italian nation had been especially moody lately and some of the club members had heard that even Spain was worried.

Gran Columbia sighed and shook her head. In a way, what she was about to say was tragic. Still, if it made South Italy happy then it would be worth it. "Lovino is in love with Gilbert. I think we should get them together."

"But I thought we agreed to never let Gilbert reproduce." Czechoslovakia, a slim feminine nation, spoke up. She had lost her status when her younger siblings, the Czech Republic and Solvakia, wanted to branch out on their own. Czechoslovakia had actually chosen to give up her status on her own and travel among her mortal population.

"They're both male." Wales pointed out.

"I don't trust Gilbert to not break the laws of biology and the universe as a whole." Czechoslovakia said. "Besides, anything can happen in the Former Nations Club. _Atlantis _is a member."

A shadowy column of blue light nodded and wave of water slid down its body. As Atlantis was underwater, the light was always flooding everywhere it went. The others ignored it.

"_I_ thought we all agreed to ignore that ghost-like creature." Newfoundland said. "Besides, we have no proof that it's Atlantis. And that's not the point! We're here for Lovino's sake. I really believe that male pregnancy is not going to happen anytime soon so it is a good idea to help the boys out in the love department."

"But why would Lovino need our help? He's an expert in romance. He's Italy!" Yugoslavia, a large, bearded former nation, said.

"There's many reasons for Lovino to need help." Northern Ireland said. "First, both Lovino and his brother are famous for seducing mortal women. Also, Lovino is lonely and Josefa thinks that Lovino believes that Gilbert isn't. Of course, no one knows for sure how many brain cells Gilbert has so no one can judge his feelings."

"It can be lonely to be dissolved." Gran Columbia said. "And Gilbert is so proud so I would think that he's lonelier than most sometimes."

"So are we in agreement?" Newfoundland asked. "Shall the Former Nations Club become the match making club?"

"Aye!"

**X-x-X**

"Josefa?"

Gran Columbia smiled prettily at Spain. The male nation was staring back at her in confusion. When he had answered the door, Spain had been expecting the mail man or perhaps a door-to-door salesman. He would never have guessed that Gran Columbia would visit him.

"Good morning Antonio." Gran Columbia said. "I'm glad to hear that we're still using mortal names to greet each other."

Spain blinked. He had been so surprised to see Gran Columbia that he had not realised what he had called her. However, Spain was a cheery, hospitable person and he liked having company. So he smiled brightly at the woman and invited her in. Soon, the two personifications were sitting in Spain's living room, drinking sparkling Italian soda and talking about the better times in their shared pasts. Gran Columbia had a hard time remembering that the laughing goofball used to be a scary conquistador.

Finally, Gran Columbia sat her glass down on the table and sighed. "Drinking this Italian soda reminds me of Italy. I've been spending a bit of time with him."

"You've been spending time with Veneziano?" Spain asked, surprised.

"No, Romano." Gran Columbia corrected. "Now, don't give me such a strange look. I do talk with other nations. Anyway, it has come to my attention that Italy is in love. And it's real love, not that Italian flirting thing that he does with pretty girls."

"With who?" Spain asked, suddenly feeling protective. In his mind, Romano was still that little boy that Austria gave him.

Gran Columbia sighed and thought, 'Ah yes, there's the scary nation I remember.' But she pushed those thoughts out of her mind and focused on the issue at hand.

"It doesn't matter who the person is." Gran Columbia said. "What matters is Romano. I am certain that he believes that the other person would not love him back. It's making him very sad. Yet the other person can't read the atmosphere so he doesn't know how Italy feels." The South American ex-nation decided that it wasn't a good idea to tell Spain just who South Italy was in love with. It wouldn't help anyone if Spain killed Prussia.

"Lovi is in love with a boy?" Spain asked, noticing that Gran Columbia said 'he' instead of 'she.' That didn't sound like something Romano would do: the younger nation loved to chase skirts.

"Strange, isn't it? But no one can choose who they love." Gran Columbia said. "I intend to help Italy out. But I need you to help as well. Will you tell me how to approach Italy on this matter? I don't want to say or do something that scares him off of confessing his feelings. And no one, except maybe his brother, knows Italy better than you."

There was a long pause as Spain thought about it. Gran Columbia wondered if Northern Ireland knew what she was doing when she suggested bringing in outside help for the South Italy-and-Prussia problem. The woman usually only made intricate plans for annoying England.

Then Spain said "I'll help if it makes Lovi happy."

**XxX**

Newfoundland landed a well-aimed kick to France's head. Northern Ireland had suggested asking France for help as he was he country of love and knew Prussia fairly well. However, that meant someone had to talk to the pervert. Newfoundland found herself forced with the job as she was a tiny bit French, was part of Canada (whom France loved dearly when he remembered to) and was in close proximity to France (due to the islands of Saint Pierre and Miquelon).

Yet Newfoundland-and-Labrador had not said two words to France before she attempted to bash his head in.

"You have too much of England in you." France moaned as he rubbed his head. "You even kick like him."

"I only kicked you because you pretended to hug me so you could grab my ass!" Newfoundland yelled. "Oh, I knew coming to you was a bad idea. What could you possibly know about love?"

"You are here because of love?" France said, suddenly turning on his charm. "How may I help _ma petite soeur_? Perhaps you have a lover that is unsatisfactory in bed?"

"Okay, one: ew. Two, this isn't about me. Three, this is about love-love, not sex-love. But I'm not sure that you actually know anything about that."

"You really do have a lot of Arthur in you, Sarah. Not even that Irish pride can hide it." France said, laughing. "Arthur never believes that I'm capable of understanding the softer side of things. Who is Mathieu in love with?"

France looked so eager to help Canada that Newfoundland almost didn't want to correct his assumption.

"I'm trying to help a friend. This isn't about family in any way." Newfoundland said. "I know someone who has feelings for... a person with a Prussia-like personality. How do I get this person to notice my friend without either one of them knowing that I'm interfering with their lives?"

France sighed softly and sat down on the front step of his house. He patted the ground next to him and Newfoundland warily sat down beside him.

"If this person is anything like Prussia then your friend is doomed." France said. "Prussia would only clue in if you threw your friend at him while your friend was naked. Even then he may not get the message. But hopefully your friend is in love with someone who's more aware of others' feelings. But the best course of action is for your friend to directly confess how they feel to the other person."

"That isn't very likely to happen." Newfoundland said. "Does this mean I should have asked Arthur to make a love potion instead?"

"_Oui._"

**TBC**

**A/n: **Well. Now Spain and France both have half a story. How will this affect Romano and Prussia? What if Gran Columbia and Newfoundland get associated because of this? Will the world find out about the Former Nations Club? And how does a member like Atlantis try to help Romano with his love life?

Somehow, I don't think that Northern Ireland thought this plan through.


	7. Chapter 7

**Romano and the Former Nations Club**

_Dark Lady Devinity_

**Chapter Seven**

Prussia was not a popular man. Yet he had multiple club memberships and groups of friends. He was a card-carrying member of the Association for the Appreciation of German Beer, he was the fourth member of a darts team based in his favourite bar and he was involved with most of the Former Nations Club's activities. And then there were his two best friends, France and Spain. Together, the three nations made up the Bad Friends Trio.

Northern Ireland had failed to remember the Bad Friends Trio. She never realised that Prussia, Spain and France would be talking to each other so soon after Gran Columbia and Newfoundland talked to Spain and France respectively.

Yet it was only a day later and the Bad Friends Trio was gathered in France's spacious apartment in Paris. Prussia had made himself at home and therefore had stretched out on the couch. Spain was sat in a chair, quietly drinking a glass of red wine and staring off into space. France was making a light lunch in the kitchenette. When France was finished, he walked into the living room and placed the meal on the coffee table. Then France noticed the faraway look on Spain's face.

"What's wrong, Antonio?" France asked.

"Hmm, oh, it's nothing." Spain said. "It's just that I wish Lovi would talk to me more about the important things in his life."

Prussia perked up at that. "Did something happen to the little guy?" the albino asked. He wondered if South Italy had accidently let something slip to Spain about feeling unnecessary. It took Prussia a few moments to realise that Italy's slip up would also be bad for the Former Nations Club.

Sneaking his hands under Spain's shirt, France nodded comfortingly. "Let us know if you think we can help you in any way."

"Well, Josefa came to visit me yesterday-" Spain said.

"Josefa?" France interrupted.

"Gran Columbia." Spain replied. "She wanted to tell me that Lovi is in love."

Both Prussia and France straightened up and focused their attention on Spain. Prussia wanted to know why he hadn't been informed of South Italy's feelings. France was thinking about his conversation with Newfoundland. Clueing the pieces together, France quickly glanced at Prussia.

Prussia sat back and thought about the news. He figured that South Italy had fallen in love with one of the prettier female ex-nations in the club. Gran Columbia probably went to see Spain in order to learn if Italy was a suitable match for a girl that Gran Columbia was most likely close friends with.

"Did Gran Columbia say who the girl was?" Prussia asked.

"It's not a girl! Do you think that Lovi was too embarrassed to tell me that he's in love with a boy?" Spain asked. "I thought he knew that he could trust me with anything!"

As Spain continued to rant about his 'precious Lovi' growing up and not needing him anymore, France and Prussia shared a look. Neither of the two had expected South Italy to fall for a boy. Yet France felt that his suspicions were confirmed.

"Alright, this is an important moment for Antonio. His little boy is turning into a man." France said. "Gilbert, go down into my wine cellar and pick out something special."

"But you never let me at the good stuff." Prussia said, shocked.

"_Oui_, but I must gather some things from the kitchen." France lied smoothly as he hauled Prussia up from the couch and forced him out the door.

"What was all that about?" Spain asked.

"I think Romano is in love with Gilbert." France said. "Now, don't make that disbelieving face. Sarah was visiting me yesterday and she told me that she had a friend who was in love with someone who has a Prussia-like personality. It is too much of a coincidence."

"I see. Who's Sarah?"

"_Terre-Neuve-et-Labrador_. She's one of Mathieu's provinces." France said. "You know, Canada's sister. Canada is the one that looks just like America."

"So how do both Gran Columbia and a province know Lovi?" Spain asked.

"I don't know." France said. "But do you think we should tell Gilbert?"

"_Si_. With the help of my battle axe." Spain said cheerfully. France paled and decided to escape his apartment. The nation of love had to warn Prussia that Spain had gone into over-protective mode.

**XxX**

There was one former nation that felt that the direct approach was best. Atlantis was certain that the best way to go about the whole problem of getting South Italy and Prussia together was to tell South Italy that everyone knew about his feelings and that he should just confess already. Atlantis also planned to tell Prussia about South Italy's feelings.

Unfortunately, Atlantis was just a pillar of light and water. He couldn't talk or use sign language and he was probably very scary. Well, magically teleporting into the Italy brothers' kitchen was most likely a bad idea and it certainly made him seem even scarier.

"Ah, _Fratello!_ There's a ghost!" North Italy screamed as he burst into tears.

"Perhaps God has sent the Holy Ghost to take us away before the Rapture." South Italy said as he clutched his brother fearfully.

Atlantis made a watery sigh. He should have tried talking to Prussia first. The albino usually chose to throw ping pong balls at Atlantis instead of screaming at him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Romano and the Former Nations Club**

_Dark Lady Devinity_

**Chapter 8**

France barely made it down to the cellar before he heard the clang of steel being unsheathed. The blond nation knew that Spain didn't take his battle axe with him anymore but there were numerous sharp objects in France's kitchen. So France grabbed Prussia and pulled him away from a selection of chardonnay just as France's best paring knife flew through the space that once held Prussia's head.

"Wha?" Prussia cried out unintelligently as France pulled him towards the secret-in-case-of-Englishmen-escape door.

"'E iz uzing my best knives to 'ill you wit." France ground out, his body twitching. Stress strengthened the man's accent. "'E missez his axe."

"But I don't understand." Prussia said. "All I was doing was looking at wine. It's not even his!"

"Romano _t'aime_."

"I don't believe you." Prussia said. "I mean, I'm awesome, but there's potatoes involved somehow and they were apparently born out of wedlock... I really don't understand his pet names."

France paused as more violent twitches shook his frame and a dark aura spread out from him. Usually, that dark aura was only seen when it was time to go to war against England or, worse yet, when it was time to behead queens that supposedly said "Let them eat cake." Then Spain threw a butcher knife and France was back to his typical fleeing personality.

"Ou never really lizten to anyone, do you?" France yelled, gaining control over his speech, as he ripped open the escape door and pushed Prussia out into the faint sunlight. "And you can't see the obvious either." The Frenchman added as he hurried through the doorway himself and slammed the door close.

Warm Parisian light drifted down into the alleyway behind France's apartment. The two personifications paused to catch their breath before they began their marathon race through the streets of the city. They would have quite the distance to cover before Spain even thought of giving up the chase.

"Gilbert, why do you think Antonio wants to kill you?" France asked. "It's because the clues add up and the only possible person for Romano to be in love with is you. Antonio doesn't approve."

"Then... then I'm in a very bad place, aren't I? Because Lovi is not going to react well to all of this either." Prussia said. "He's not exactly an honest guy when it comes to saying emotional shit."

"For once, you're right. You're doomed. But I don't see why I should be dragged down with you." France said. "So let's get out of here before Spain comes after us."

"Good plan."

**XxX**

The Italy brothers called up everyone they could think of that might know how to deal with their watery ghost problem: various priests turned exorcists, the Pope and both Germany and Japan had failed to help them. Yes, the situation was bad enough that Romano let Veneziano call in his friends. Atlantis had long since left but one could never be sure when a ghost might reappear. Finally, Romano decided that he had to call crazy, fairy-seeing England and, should that fail, the members of the Former Nations Club.

However, South Italy was not expecting the nature of the conversation he had with England.

"Hello, Arthur Kirkland speaking. I'm afraid I'm a little- what the bloody hell? Get off of me Francis. No, I don't care if the Spanish Armada is coming after you."

_Click._

South Italy paused, blinking. Then he tried calling Prussia on his cell phone. Although, he had no idea what Prussia could do to help. But he still wanted to call him. However, that was just as... interesting... a conversation.

"Hi! I know you wanted to call the awesome me but, ummmm... well, yeah. Now isn't the best time." Prussia said. Meanwhile, South Italy could hear England and France in the background. France sounded like he was begging England for protection, reminding the Englishman of all the times Captain Kirkland's pirates raided Spanish ships.

"What the hell is going on over there!" South Italy yelled into the phone.

"Crap! Francis, it's Lovi!" Prussia yelled. However, his voice sounded slightly distant as he wasn't speaking into the phone.

Italy listened as he heard France faintly say, "Hang up! Do not let him know what's going on. We do not need the Mafia here as well."

"The hell? What did you two do that could piss off Spain and potentially piss off Romano as well?" England asked.

"I can hear you when you yell." Italy said.

"Aw, dammit. Why'd you call me anyway Lovino? Did you miss my awesoOW! Francis! Why'd you kick me?" Prussia whined.

The next few moments were spent in silence and Italy could only guess that the two friends were having a silence conversation on the other end of the phone. Finally, someone picked the receiver back up and Italy felt that he was finally going to get some answers. However, now he could hear screaming and rapid fire Spanish that was too fast for Romano to follow. But it sounded faintly like Spain.

"Hello, Romano?" England's calm voice came over the phone line. There was faint irritation in his tone. "I'm afraid that Prussia will have to call you back. Have a nice day."

_Click._

South Italy felt his face erupt into a hot red. He was tempted to beat the phone into submission but then he calmed down enough to call another number. When Gran Columbia picked up the line, South Italy told her all about his ghost problem and then he told her about the weird phone calls to England and Prussia.

"Well," Gran Columbia said, "your ghost problem is easy enough to figure out. It's just Atlantis."

"The lost continent was in my kitchen?" Italy said.

"Yes... he's a former nation club member." Gran Columbia said. "But I don't know what to tell you about those strange phone calls."

"But I wasn't being haunted?" Italy said. Then he paused, "But I'm still going to see more of him at the meetings, aren't I? Well, I guess I'll talk to you later then."

As soon as Gran Columbia said her goodbyes, Italy put down the receiver and wandered over to the wine closet.

"Feli, I'm opening a bottle or six of wine. I need alcohol!" South Italy yelled.

**XxX**

After she hung up the phone, Gran Columbia was racing around her room, searching for the locked diary that contained all the contact information for the Former Nations Club. Then she proceeded to call or email every club member and set up the biggest emergency meeting of all time.

Their matchmaking plan had just had its legs shot off.


	9. Chapter 9

**Romano and the Former Nations Club**

_Dark Lady Devinity_

**Warning: **Czechoslovakia apparently is in a bad mood so bad language warning.

**Chapter Nine**

When necessary, the Former Nations Club would gather with a speed that would make NASCAR racers look like ninety-year old Sunday drivers. Ex-nations that had been sleeping when they got Gran Columbia's call were dressed and in taxis before their brains had actually woken up. Scotland and Wales, who had been lunching with Australia and Ireland, were halfway to the emergency meeting spot before the other men knew they were gone. Everyone was quickly gathering.

That is, except for Northern Ireland and Czechoslovakia.

Northern Ireland had been tasked with getting Prussia while Czechoslovakia had to collect South Italy. Both discovered this to be very dangerous.

**XxX**

There was protocol for visiting another club member when you never spent much time talking to the nation responsible for them. So Czechoslovakia knew to call South Italy "Romano" instead of Lovino or Italy. However, that was all she knew because she wasn't expecting to find two very drunk Italians sitting in the living room of their villa. Moreover, no one had told Czechoslovakia what to do if Romano was in his scary Mafia mode while drunk. At least the Northern portion of Italy was a happy drunk as he was trying to cuddle with the Southern portion while Romano arranged a hit on ghosts. Then she overheard Veneziano calmly explain to Romano that he couldn't kill a ghost and it was better to arrange the hit on whoever was responsible for the ghost. Then Veneziano started talking about the best way to kill Prussia.

Needless to say, it didn't look good. Czechoslovakia decided that next time the Former Nations Club took on the responsibility of matchmaking they'd just get the two nations in love drunk and naked in a closet.

"Um, excuse me." Czechoslovakia called out cautiously.

Both Italies jumped and then turned in the direction of her voice. South Italy was pulling his gun out, thinking that she was from a rival family in his drunken state. Luckily, he seemed to recognise her at the same time that North Italy put a hand on his brother's shoulder and said, "_Fratello,_ you can't shoot a lady."

"That's no lady. That's Katia."

"Thanks a lot Lovino." Czechoslovakia said sarcastically, forgetting that she was supposed to call him Romano. "Now come on. I need you to come with me."

"Why?" Romano asked suspiciously.

"The... others... want to have a little, uh, get-together." Czechoslovakia said.

"What others?" Veneziano asked.

"Yeah, what others?" Romano asked.

"You know what others." Czechoslovakia said. "_The _others. You know, the guys that are like you and me."

"I don't get it." Romano said.

"Goddammit Lovi! It's not something I can talk about in front of your brother _remember_!" Czechoslovakia said.

"Oi! Don't take the Lord's name in vain. That's one of the first commandments." Romano said and his brother nodded. Now the drunken idiots seemed more interested in being devote Catholics instead of mob members.

"Oh, for Chri- we're planning to do something horrible to Prussia, okay, and we need your help." Czechoslovakia said.

"Oh, okay. I can do that. Feli's coming too." Romano said.

"No he is not."

"Yes he is."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"For the last time, no!"

"Feli's coming or I'll show you why people fear Silicy."

Czechoslovakia stared down Romano and his weak, drunken hold of his gun. "Fuck this shit. Both of you get your asses in the car. And I'm driving. Drunk idiots."

At this point, Czechoslovakia didn't care if the Italies really did plan to kill Prussia so long as they sobered up and stopped acting like little children.

**XxX**

She was glad Czechoslovakia wasn't here. The ex-nation sometimes had low tolerance for idiocy. And Northern Ireland could only put this situation down as idiocy. The Irish beauty had rushed into England's house to find Prussia cowering under a table, clutching Gilbird. Northern Ireland was intending to give him a massive lecture while explaining what was going on (and, in the process, giving herself a lecture too) when she saw something that she would never believe was true had she not seen it herself.

England had gotten his cutlass and favourite pirate hat out from God knew where and was battling an axe wielding Spain. Even more astonishing, England appeared to be defending _France_, of all people. France was clinging to England's free arm and whimpering like a damsel in distress while England fought. Somehow, the three nations in the mist of the battle had forgotten all about Prussia which could only mean that France had managed to protect Prussia and in the process made Spain transfer his desire to kill onto the French nation.

Taking a deep breath, Northern Ireland darted past the fight and dived under the table. Prussia looked surprised to see her but he was also relived.

"Ilane! Please tell me you have a way out of here." Prussia pleaded.

"Don't worry. I know the entire layout of the house." Northern Ireland said. "I can get us out the back door. By the way, I don't think you'll ever be able to repay France for saving your ass."

"I don't understand what's going on anymore." Prussia said. "I haven't felt this confused since..."

"Since you were dissolved." Northern Ireland finished. "Don't worry about it. I can explain everything. Unfortunately, this is all my fault. Well, the club helped too. Now we better get out of here before the idiots notice us and realise that we're the bigger idiots."

Prussia nodded and followed Northern Ireland as she started to crawl away from the fray.

When they finally reached the back door, Prussia paused and thought about something he really wanted to ask Northern Ireland. The red haired woman waited patiently. Finally, the albino said, "Does Lovi really like me?"

Northern Ireland paused. "Yeah, I think he really does. But I don't think he's ever going to admit it."

There was a long silence as Prussia thought hard and honestly about something for the first time in his life. "I think it might be better if he didn't. A dissolved nation is never going to be right for a full blooded, real nation. Most of us, myself especially, will never know if we're finally going to just give up and truly fade away. And I don't think it's fair to be with someone who already went through that when their own grandfather faded away."

Northern Ireland frowned, knowing that Prussia was thinking of Germania and not knowing what to do. Than the sound of something breaking reminded her of where they were and she tore open the door, pushing Prussia out first before she made her escape.

**TBC**

**A/n: **Gah Prussia! You're supposed to be comic relief. When did you get to be so serious!


	10. Chapter 10

**Romano and the Former Nations Club**

_Dark Lady Devinity_

**Chapter Ten**

It was raining with the threat of thunder when the Former Nations Club met up in one of their secret clubhouses. Gran Columbia watched the sky nervously, thinking that the weather was a dark omen. Her fears weren't in vain as Czechoslovakia was dragging two intoxicated Italies into the clubhouse. Northern Ireland showed up about ten minutes later with a miserable looking Prussia. One thing about Prussia was that he always knew when he was completely and utterly screwed.

"I don't think this is a good idea." Gran Columbia said.

"It's too late now." Northern Ireland said. "Even if we could convince France not to say anything, Spain will probably try to maim Gilbert and anyone that associates with him too closely for at least another month. You didn't see that look on his face at Arthur's. Lovino is going to find out one way or another that his feelings aren't a secret. It's better for him to find out from us first."

"It's worse than that. North Italy is here too. Katia couldn't get Lovino to come on his own and I think the brothers have both been drinking rather heavily." Gran Columbia said.

"Do you have any idea what kind of drunk Lovino is?" Prussia asked.

The two female nations shared a look before turning to face the albino. They had identical looks of pity. Finally, Gran Columbia said, "Katia's pretty tough. If she couldn't get North Italy to stay home then I think Lovino is an especially stubborn and potentially dangerous drunk."

Prussia sighed. "Tell Ludwig to take good care of Gilbird."

The trio then solemnly walked into the clubhouse. When South Italy saw Prussia, he turned an angry, intoxicated red and yelled "You!" while pointing at Prussia. Then he marched right up to the paler ex-nation and got right in his face. Everyone watched, expecting Romano to either punch Prussia or head-butt him in the face. Instead, The Italian grabbed the albino's ears in a painfully tight grip and smashed their mouths together.

"Is that some kind of attack?" Yugoslavia asked.

"No, no, _Fratello_! You're doing it wrong!" Veneziano wailed. "Kissing isn't supposed to be so violent!"

"I don't think that's kissing." Newfoundland said suspiciously. "It looks like Lovino is trying to suck the flesh right off of Gilbert's skull."

"I'm going to go make coffee. Coffee makes everything better." Vermont said and ran into the area that the Club had transformed into a functioning kitchenette. The others let her even though no one believed that coffee was going to sober up South Italy.

When Romano finally pulled away, Prussia's pale lips were already bruising into a light purple colour. Germany was going to think someone had tried to rape his older brother's mouth. Then Romano slapped Prussia but he wasn't strong enough to bruise Prussia's cheek. Apparently all those years of head-butting had made Romano's head a dangerous weapon but the remaining parts of his body had failed to catch up.

"Ow." Prussia moaned and rubbed his mouth.

"Yeah, well, there's more where that came from until you stop making me like you!" Romano snapped, hands on his hips.

"Ah..." Prussia stumbled, wondering if it was even physically possible for him to stop being awesome. Then he remembered that he had a hard enough time getting people to actually like him despite his awesomeness. "Fuck. Charlotte, hurry up with that coffee!"

"I'm doing the best I can!" Vermont wailed. "I told everyone we needed a new coffee pot. I wasn't being a snob when I said it was cheap!"

Yugoslavia and Scotland shared a quick glance and surmised that it was time for them to step in unless they wanted the whole clubhouse to be destroyed in a manner resembling a nuclear reaction in a power plant that just crashed. Scotland went up to Romano and gently pulled the nation away from Prussia. Yugoslavia quickly inserted himself between Prussia and the other two nations in case Romano decided to bolt and get one last mauling in on Prussia. As the two men were doing this, the other club members remembered that Romano was involved with the mafia.

A few tense moments passed before Veneziano ran up to Romano and gripped his older brother's arm. "Ve, Lovino, I didn't know you liked Prussia. You're not doing a very good job of showing it." The younger said.

"Feli, weren't we arranging a hit on that idiot a little while ago?" Romano asked.

"Ahh... yes! Yes we were. But there are too many witnesses." Veneziano said. "We'd need to call in Don Vecchio's help if we were to kill Prussia now."

"There's no time for the magic of coffee. Atlantis!" Wales yelled.

The glowing, watery column of light that was Atlantis came out from behind one of the former nations that had tried their best to stay quiet for the whole matchmaking fiasco. When the Italies saw Atlantis, they remembered the incident in their kitchen, screamed, "It's the ghost!" and promptly passed out.

"Well, that should give us some time." Newfoundland said. "And Gilbert, I can see you trying to escape out that window."

**XxX**

It was a couple of hours before the brothers woke up and by then they didn't appear to be drunk. However, they both had massive hangovers. Vermont quietly placed two cups of coffee between them and then retreated to hide behind Northern Ireland. The boys gratefully took a cup each and took a sip. The actions were so similar and in sync that they looked like twins.

"Ve, I haven't been this hung-over since... since a very long time ago." Venezino said. His movements were dull and lacking the usual energy. "Where are we?"

Romano looked around and saw what had to be the entire Former Nations Club in the room surrounding them. That was not a good sign. Then the Italian caught sight of Czechoslovakia and Sealand sitting on Prussia's back. Czechoslovakia appeared slightly dangerous but Sealand, in his obnoxious way, was trying to force a sailor's cap onto Prussia's head and make him part of the nation of Sealand.

"I thought this club was supposed to be a secret." Romano said.

"It was." Czechoslovakia snapped. "But you had to get inebriated and mob-boss like on my ass when I tried to take you here on your own, without your brother. What comes of his being here is on your head."

"Don't mind Katia. She's not in the best of moods." Yugoslavia said. "We brought you here because the club found out some things and we were trying to remedy the situation. However, those things got out of hand and we wanted to apologize to both you and Prussia."

"I was opposed to the whole plan in the first place." Czechoslovakia grumbled.

"And your reason for opposing the plan was based on something that wasn't biologically possible in the first place." Newfoundland reminded her.

"Anyway," Gran Columbia interrupted, "I'm not sure that this is a conversation we need to be having in front of North Italy."

Prussia struggled to move into a position that allowed him to look at Gran Columbia. "I don't think this is a conversation we need to have in front of me either."

Before anyone could reply to this, South Italy noticed the bruising in Prussia's lips and asked, "Hey, Potato Bastard, what happened to your face?"

"You happened to my face." Prussia said.

There was a long pause until Northern Ireland said, "The jury's still out on whether you kissed him or mauled him."

The strange kiss reminder acted as a catalyst for both Italies and they remembered what had occurred in the last day. Romano groaned and buried his face in his hand. Veneziano, always perceptive in manners of love, simply patted his brother's back soothingly and made comforting little "Ve" sounds.

"Everyone here knows?" Romano asked without looking up.

"It wasn't hard to figure out." Wales said. "So we decided to become a matchmaking club. It didn't work out like planned."

"It's my fault." Northern Ireland said. "And now France and Spain know as well."

"_Spain knows_!" Romano shrieked, his head shooting up so that he could look into Northern Ireland's eyes in pure horror. Veneziano shrank away from him in terror.

"He's been trying to kill me." Prussia mumbled. "Old Iggy saved me."

"That explains the weird phone calls." Romano said slowly.

"I really don't understand." Veneziano said. "How did a group of nations no one sees anymore know Lovi liked Prussia?"

There was a long silence as everyone looked at each other. Yet they all knew that they had been found out and there wasn't anything that could be done about it. Once Veneziano knew, Germany would know and in turn Japan. Soon the news would spread. Spain and France would already know that Gran Columbia and Newfoundland knew each other and Romano in some way and that grouping was strange enough to make people suspicious. It was time to explain fully who and what they were. Gran Columbia took it upon herself to complete the task that had come upon them.

"Feliciano Vargas, welcome to the Former Nations Club."


	11. Chapter 11

**Romano and the Former Nations Club**

_Dark Lady Devinity_

**Chapter Eleven**

Veneziano actually sat still and focused all his attention on Gran Columbia as she explained the Former Nations Club to him. The more she talked, the more the northern half of Italy frowned. He was especially displeased when Gran Columbia said that the club members had no place in the political world anymore and simply relied on their mortals' nationalism and remembered histories to maintain some level of importance. She acknowledged that certain club members, like Newfoundland or Wales, still had landmass but they all had someone else speaking for them and other things that united them.

"So none of you have much power on a world scale and may not even have much power in whatever federal governments you're part of. So why is my brother in this club?" Veneziano asked, tears starting to glisten in his eyes. It appeared that he was starting to form some conclusions and he didn't like them.

"Because he's in love with Gilbert." Gran Columbia said.

"Actually, we don't know if that was the initial reason for his joining the club at that time." Yugoslavia said. "It seems to me that Lovino wasn't all that into Gilbert at first. Anyway, it was Gilbert that let him join. Not a one of us knows how Lovino found out about us or what reason he gave Gilbert for joining."

"That's a good point." Scotland said. "How did you find out about us and why did you join our club, Lovi? It's not like we'd be a popular club to join even if we weren't a secret."

Romano sighed dejectedly. It was time for him to be honest and he wasn't sure that he would ever be ready for that. "Gilbert dropped a memo from the club the night before I came to sign up."

"Gilbert Beilschmidt!" Czechoslovakia yelled as she kicked Prussia in the head. Atlantis had to rain down on top of her to keep her from killing the albino.

"Katia, don't interrupt." Northern Ireland said. "We still haven't heard why he wanted to join."

"I wanted to join because I'm not important." Romano said rapidly. "No one needs me. I'm only good at agriculture and Feliciano can take care of all the Italian people on his own. It's easy for him. If Italy is unified then why the hell do I even exist? There's only one Italy on the maps!"

There was silence for a moment until North Italy burst into tears. South Italy hung his head down and wouldn't look at anyone. The club members all shared a look.

"Do you think that we, the true members of the Former Nations Club, haven't questioned why we still exist? There isn't a nation on earth that needs to exist. There's no logic to any of us and maybe the world would be a better place if humans didn't make boarders to defend with wars. But humans make countries and their actions and ideas and dreams made us. We are love and nationalism and pride and greedy prizes to be won. We're millions of pints of blood and dead bodies." Scotland said.

"We exist because a mortal loved us once." Newfoundland continued. "We only stop existing when a mortal decides that we should belong to another country or that we should form a unified nation under a new name or that we shouldn't exist at all."

Finally, Prussia said his piece. "I really don't care if there's one Italy or two. I don't care if any nation exists. There isn't a place on earth that's more awesome than Prussia. But I like Sarah and Josefa and James and everyone else in this club. I like Feliciano and I really like Lovino. I think they should exist."

"You really think that?" South Italy asked, meeting Prussia's eyes.

"Why wouldn't I? Haven't we had fun up until now? I had fun that time we went out to dinner and it was brilliant how thoroughly we destroyed the kitchen that time we were baking. I can never get Ludwig to bake with me. And because of you and how much Antonio cares about your well-being, I got to see Iggy willingly protect Francis. _Francis!_ That just doesn't happen every day. It's like you're a miracle worker or something." Prussia said. "I wouldn't trade you for anybody in the world."

Romano blushed and Veneziano hugged him. Then Vermont made everybody coffee and they lived happily ever after.

...

Well, maybe happily ever after is too strong a description. Spain still isn't happy with Romano's choice of boyfriend and he's threatened Prussia countless times but as long as Romano's happy then Spain can at least be civil. Things are getting back to normal... sort of. Much to everyone's horror, France and England are now a couple. It seemed that after England defeated Spain (and he very nearly didn't), France rewarded the island nation with very relieved, grateful-to-be-alive sex and the best pancakes in the world. It was while eating these pancakes that they realised they were in love with each other.

South Italy and Prussia have become an item now and Romano finds that he's spending too much time with his brother, Austria, Hungary, France and that Potato Bastard Germany.

But don't think that now that Romano and Prussia have each that they don't need the Former Nations Club anymore. Now they need them more than ever. The club unites people. This month the club is helping Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales in one of their pranks on England and then they're going to help Atlantis find the city he misplaced in the ocean all those years ago.

**THE END**


End file.
